Feeling pathetic for yourself? Struggling to get by? Wondering how you can get a bailout? Well, hold back moping, because it's not too late! I may not have Suze Orman's exuberance or Billy Mays' voice. But I've discovered a original risk-free investment drawing plain from those who brought us the pecuniary meltdown. So in this column-fomercial, I won't dissipation your control with Ginsu knives or cash-for-timeshare schemes - I'm affluent to worker shape you well-heeled beyond your wildest dreams! Look, we've all heard about Wall Street's losses. But you quite didn't hark about Corporate America's newest definite thing: a walk to fiscal audaciousness far more punctilious than any decent-paying job.
It's something so disused that even amateur investors can sympathize it! It's called splice - a surefire bounty creator that takes your investments, modifies laws, and delivers returns that the best precursor salesman could never dream of! This is the ShamWow of strategies, the Flowbee of economics, the Ronco of investing. Just seem at the profits it generates! In the hold out decade, the monetary industry's $5 billion investment in rivalry contributions and lobbyists resulted in deregulation, which generated trillions for executives. And when the blister burst, there was another boatload of at large money! By Bloomberg News' account, $12.8 trillion advantage of taxpayer loans, grants and guarantees - all to Wall Street! But delay … there's more! The Associated Press this week reports that "companies that prostrate hundreds of millions lobbying successfully for a encumbrance break loose enacted in 2004 got a 22,000-percent turn on that investment" - $100 billion in all.
That could be you! Of course, the recondite is investing heavily in specified federal stocks. For example, the banking manufacture recently paid Rahm Emanuel $16 million for about two years of work. That investment was recently paid back when, as President Obama's prime of staff, Emanuel led the January operation to freedom another $350 billion in bank bailout funds. Turning a $16 million down pay into a $350 billion payout - that's huge! Likewise, Goldman Sachs hired preceding Senate partner Mark Patterson as one of its lobbyists - an investment that proved a immense champion when Patterson became the Treasury Department's first of shillelagh and the mechanism also afterward killed proposals to check chief executive compensation at bailed-out banks.
Cha-Ching! And the hedge capitalize trade paid economist Larry Summers $5.2 million in 2008 for part-time make use of - an investment that hit even a score sweepings when Summers became Obama's cover remunerative aide-de-camp and the oversight resisted muscular foreign hedge-fund regulations that some G20 countries wanted. Show me the money! That's right, the surest speed to total big scratch is not to initiate in forebears with proven problem meet or in valuable entrepreneurial ventures, but in blue-chip members of Permanent Washington - dash politicos and bureaucrats who inevitably get back into positions of genius and payback! Now I discern you ruminate that I reasoning a charge out of the youth in the question-mark habit and that my arrange seems like a scam.
But it's admirably legal! So how much would you avenge oneself for for this kind of opportunity? $100 trillion? $50 trillion? What if I said you could get all this for just a few billion in walk off change? Because that's all it takes to institute no-risk investing! It's that easy! Why let the corporate guys confirm all the wampum off government? Why dregs space working for companies that add up to garbage when you can swallow the one company that simply prints cash? Order now and venture my product! It's not nearby in stores, but if you call within the next 15 minutes, we'll floor in unchained congressional and White House phone directories valued at $49.95! Operators are perpetual by!
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